>>Hello, Graham here - just popped onto the blog to expand on the digital toilet seats. Didn‘t think Irene had done them enough justice;

Ok, yes they can be warmed to a temperature of your choosing. They have certain other features too, like if you need the sound of running water to help you pee. If don’t want to be heard while on the job, there was a white noise setting on one of them, you can also adjust the seat angle, etc. Now, I’ll just come straight out and say this, the most important part of any digital toilet is its bidet. Having never used one before, and having my stomach turned by rancid hose contraptions in India for the same purpose, I was surprised on first use in Japan at just how effective these are. There are buttons for distance spray and power, much in the same way a car wash does too. So much power in fact that its possible to give yourself a cold water enema if you are feeling backed up. (Did Irene mention that the Japanese don’t have much fibre in their diet).

This is all just background however to an incident with said bidet and Irene in Tokyo, whom I’d sold the merits of the toilet gadgets to and who was subsequently involved in utilising for the first time. All seemed to be going well until I heard strange intermittent cries and yelps protruding from the toilet. Very curious I wandered over to the door, “don‘t come in”, was heard, along with dripping noises and more hysterical yelping and screeches. Unperturbed I endeavoured to push the door open to find Irene soaked from head to foot, hands out in front trying to stop the nightmare mechanical fountain that was exploding from the toilet. I rushed over and hit the stop button then proceeded to laugh hysterically while an unimpressed Irene wondered how the bidet had went wrong.

From what I understand Irene had confused the power setting with the location button and shot the water straight up and over her back and head and had been scrambling around in the mayhem that ensued trying to stop the machine.

Please don’t let this put you off trying a digital toilet if you get the chance, in the hands of the right person they are a good thing.

That’s all for now<<<