04/08/09 - 29/08/09, China

To be honest we didn’t really have the time, money or energy to do China justice, which was a shame as it is another fascinating country with lots to see and loads of history, although that’s not to say we didn’t see a few of the big sights:-

* The Great Wall (of course);
* The Forbidden City;
* Tiananmen Square;
* Pingyao (ancient Chinese city);
* The Terracotta Warriors (amazing);
* Guliogcan (most stunning scenery we’ve seen in Asia);
* Peking Duck (so tasty);
* The Bird‘s Nest;
* and Giant Pandas (so so cute).

But there’s a lot more to China than just the tourist attractions - for a start, we’re pretty sure it doubles as the largest building site on earth!! Everywhere…and we mean everywhere, things are being built. Apparently China uses 46% of the world’s supply of concrete, we well believe it (the tram roadworks in Edinburgh don’t even compare!). So in 5/10 years time China is going to be a very different place - but perhaps not the prettiest - their architecture isn’t that pleasing on the eye, but they are definitely building a country for a super power (and building it fast).

Unfortunately for us backpackers though they’re more concerned with building things than learning English (we have tried to learn a little Mandarin but that‘s another story), and they are quite partial to “Chinglish” (which you may have seen on BBC News recently). For example - “the egg hangs off the noodles” or “the bull’s penis with chef cooks the broth clear!!” (no thanks) - we saw these on the same menu!! Or perhaps “sitting on the bedpan” is a good way to describe a western toilet??

So, as I intimated in an earlier blog the language barrier can make getting around extremely difficult. One day we tried to buy a train ticket (in a town where there were no other tourists) for our onward journey but to say we were out of our depth was an understatement as it didn’t prove so easy:-

* we went from the bus station to the train station;
* queued for tickets for the wrong train;
* realised the refund process wasn’t worth further pain;
* walked back to the bus station;
* spoke with the non-English speaking information desk;
* queued at the wrong place for a bus ticket;
* spoke with information again;
* were taken to the right ticket office (which was back at the train station!).

We then waited 2.5 hours for the next bus, arrived at 8.30pm in a city of 1.96 million people (which we hadn’t planned to go to), and with no accommodation booked! But it worked out fine and we didn’t kill each other!! So we must be getting the hang of dealing with the “downs” of travel a little better -“stay calm and don’t expect an instant remedy!”

However, China’s the only country where I think someone would leave their job and walk tourists round to another part of town so they could get tickets - good on you China!! It’s also the only place so far where we have dined out on complete strangers’ genuine hospitality - twice! (with the exception of the night not to be mentioned of “topless” drinking in Tokyo). The first time was at the Great Wall where our hosts, (Mr Doh and his good lady) invited us to dinner with them and their family, got us drunk, then opened THEIR karaoke bar so we could all have a sing song (this as you can imagine was probably unwise on their part!) And again, at Guoliangcun when 2 doctors treated us to dinner and Bijiou (Chinese whisky). Guoliagcun was also where we were in nearly everyone’s holiday snaps as we were the only “Westerners in the Village” - which was just wrong when we were next to the most stunning scenery!

We’ve had other little mishaps along the way too. In Xian we arrived after a day on the bus, checked in, found our room, unpacked a little, went to the loo, then went in search of the bar for our free beer (wasn’t going to waste that). We then realised we had forgotten something and I popped back down to the room….mmmmm…but strange the key wouldn’t work…..however, on closer inspection I realised that the door said 303 and our key said 302!! Oooops…seems we’d checked into the wrong room….I let Graham go down to reception and explain that one!! (but again it turned out okay as 302 was actually a bit nicer).

We were also taking China a lot slower than we have done with other countries so we had time to read the odd newspaper or too - but that in itself was bizarre and enlightening at the same time!! For example, here were the stories in the “Global News” on the 11th of August:-

“China to Regulate Executions” (front page) - and they’re going to try their best to prohibit confessions by torture (that’s good of them??);

“Nepalese women protest at Government plans to pay men to marry widows” (not surprised!);

“500 children abducted from UK” - if you haven’t heard about this in the UK, don’t worry, they have been taken by one of their parents;

”Party calls time on risqué text messages (at work)” - you can now be punished for sending dirty jokes, porn, and gossip about staff changes or office romances!

“Rehab for web addicts to be shutdown” - this was a training camp for internet addicted teenagers which was closed after a 16 year old was beaten to death;

“Face saving measures for Chairman Mao” - quality control is to be introduced on souvenirs, as apparently his face is getting squashed;

“Brad Pitt is not getting married” - always worth knowing!;

“Stinking foreigners and the unwashed masses” - pointing out that foreigners wash in the morning because we’re more smelly!!!! (Chinese wash at night);

Whisky cure recommended for Russian football fans visiting the UK in light of swine flu!

And “Roger Federer’s wife had twins” - that twat gets everywhere!!

An eclectic mix shall we say! It must have been a good day for news as they seem to have covered the main “global” stories - I think the BBC could learn a thing or two from them!

And the TV was no better - I spent half an hour watching a programme one day which looked like it was supposed to be a debate about a film which had just been released called “Invisible Killer”, which is apparently about the internet and I presumed from the title it was against the use of the internet, but after watching for 30 minutes I can’t honestly say whether it was or not??!! It was so confusing, a debate which didn’t actually discuss or put any opinions forward on the issue! You really do feel cut off from the rest off the world here - thankfully we could access BBC, but if you’re Chinese you no doubt can’t.

We did persevere though and watched the news every day (mainly as there were no other English channels out of 60 others - they had Chinese soap operas on each!). However, when we were in Beijing we would have expected the news to mention the practice marches that would be taking place for the 60th anniversary of the forming of the People’s Republic of China on the 1st October. Not so - we just saw notes pinned to the lift and our bathroom mirror in the hostel telling us not to go outside for 36 hours!! This caused us a bit of alarm as we were leaving to go to the airport the next day and that definitely required us to leave the building! But the Chinese are so used to this and told us it would be okay to go out the next day - we’re not used to being told what we can’t do! It’s at times like this you realise you are in a very different country.

And it is also the only country where we have resorted to pointing at the menu in a fast food restaurant and mooing, baahing and clucking!! And all credit to the waiter who confirmed by mooing back that our selection was beef! We have to say that the food here has not been the best - it is nothing like Chinese at home - but looking forward to some Cantonese food in Hong Kong (that’s more what we get in the UK).

Although, we’re hoping Graham doesn’t get stopped by immigration when we’re leaving. It took 3x immigrations officers and a lot of squinting and staring to get Graham in here - he’s lost a stone and a half and grown a beard since he had his passport photo taken, so they took a bit off convincing that it was really him!! But should be easier now as he’s treated himself to a new pair of “the Hoff” shades so that should help with the disguise!!!